Struggles of Society

So can I make ends meet a minority the male sex Living in fear with this inferiority complex Like I'm supposed to understand this circle of life Always in the thick of battle full of heat and strife Can't tell my fiance I've been messing with her sister It was supposed to affect me more but I guess I never missed her Call me a dog but this dog's leash doesn't exist Say I'm full of sh*t but that's just part of the list I pay my bills but I'm still looked at like I don't belong at my job Got passed over a promotion by some dude named Bob I'm not going to blame it on him being white cause that just ain't right This is the sh*t that goes through my head at night Right next to my desk is this chick who's a hot mess Though she's ahead of me cause she's got a big chest I'm not complaining just laughing to myself Never mind the fact that I'm in failing health Doctor says I need to get my colon checked My response was dude touch me and get wrecked No more need for that abuse I got that as a child And they said as a kid the pain would be mild It's why I don't believe anymore I'm just living to die But I'm not living the status quo and just trying to get high I am who I am just a product of the system Just be careful if you didn't look you probably missed him

Crossroads

To stand there and wonder who you are and why you scare me
Is a question that screams out like it's asking cmon double dare me
I thought it was me who has changed the man with two faces
I just feel like right now we're at different places
What I want is the best but I feel so far from it
I'm on the case cause all I wanna do is hunt it
To love is a theory that stretches farther than light
That's why I won't cross that bridge tonight
I'm not ready to cut the curtain or close the book
Not ready to give that fateful and final look
I won't cross that road that screams my name
I won't cross that road that stays the same
I can't and I won't that's the bottom line
That road remains in my path and on my mind

Giving my all

I've been thinking all day about understanding the meaning of what it is to give the effort and take your time for someone else. I first of all have to say, it's very time consuming and draining at times. What I have found out though, and it's something that's become more apparent recently is the fact that it is gratifying. That is when you truly know your heart and soul are working properly.

Rightfully so through the years we are raised in a lot of different ways to have high self esteem and positive emotions towards ourselves. For some, they take that teaching and just apply it to the necessary phases for life, for others they take it literally and make it become something they eat, drink, and breathe. The art of selfishness, something that I have felt for very long.

As I've grown up, I've ran away from home, disobeyed a lot of orders, and did a lot of things that skewered my view of what growing up should be. I expected it to be too easy, and in those lessons and trials is where I have found moments of clarity. I hope in the coming days to meditate a little more, and start being in tune with my thoughts as they go haywire at times. My heart is heavy but strong, and my mind in pure wonderment at everything in life.

For the past two years I have learned what it is to love and to appreciate that love for better and for worse. It has been a test of every fiber of my being, learning to give your all to someone else just for the simple gratification coming from their happiness. Learning that feeling has been a truly interesting journey that I hope to continue, as I grow up.

Valentine's day for me is a reminder of what I didn't have when I was by myself, and I feel for those who are alone cause I've been there, but my advice would be simple as it is easy to give advice from a position of power. A day will come when it is your time, I just realized I had to wait, and then when you find someone who is worth it, you give them yourself as you would hope they do for you. Peace, love, and happiness.

Rite Of Passage

From a man to boy I say on this day
Now it is time for you to go your way
You've lived in my shadow for years and years
Time to go out in the world to conquer your fears
It's perilous isn't it the world that's out there
With little of patience with barely the smallest of care
I can't boast of success but my experience is paramount
I've gone through more perilous fights than you can count
So as you take this journey take it wisely and very well
As I truly believe on the past you cannot dwell
I can say with confidence that I've always believed in you
Fly to the sky with the air clear the vision blue
Expect the unexpected but deal with grace
Eventually you'll see the smile on this father's face
Can't wait for the day when I can make this scripture
For you my son you're in control of this picture

Why I Cry

I cry because you say I would never be worth it
I cry because in truth you think I deserve it
I cry because I can't say what I really want to
I cry because I believe that I can't help you
I cry due to the fact that you can't always be there
I cry for reasons unseen and things seen everywhere
I cry with the thought that I'm not supposed to
I cry because I don't want to say the words to hurt you
I cry cause I can't take it for everything that's existed
I cry for the reasons above I just listed
If you really wanna know why I cry than look to the sky
As the rain falls that's what masks the tears from my eyes

No Glory For the Man with a Heart

If you ask him he would trade it all
The hurt the pain to feel nothing at all
He'd be telling you the truth because it's just too much
The sensations the thoughts the ideas as such
Why Love if her Hate is stronger than that feeling
Why keep climbing the mountain if it leaves you reeling
He wants this glory this expectation of a reward
Little does he know it's something he can ill afford
As this life does not offer that type of glory
If that's the case than it'd be a different story
As I ponder what life can be like for this man
Hopefully he'll learn to understand
That Glory these days are in your self worth
Something you'll carry with you from your birth
No Glory for the Man who has a heart
Wish he knew that the Glory always came from the start

I AM

I can't ask the world to accept me so I accept myself
I can't ask you to help me so I'll help myself
I'm not looking for your guidance I stay alone
I'm not looking for your likeness like a heart of stone
Who I am what I represent is nothing I can describe
This tunnel flooding of emotion that I feel inside
Let it bleed till it's last drop I say to the heaven
Hoping that my luck continues past the count of seven
I can't be what you want like the man on the tv screen
I can't act how you are when you talk about being mean
I am the heart at what you wonder what's right
I am the thought in your mind at night
At this point I'm everything that the world doesn't know yet
Hopefully I'm everything that you'll never forget